Same hour, different Day

My youngest was home sick today.  Which means I was working from home today.  Working from home is usually a joke because while I can reply to the occasional email, I am far too distracted by home demands which are the worst and most awful.  Because it's not laundry or dishes or projects.  It's TV and Angry birds.  When at work, I am not capable of slacking.  At home, oh the story is all together different.  So, after a couple hours of actual productive work (no, really!!), we watched 19 Kids and counting.  She lost her 20th baby in the second trimester.  Oh how sad.  How so so sad.  I cried and cried.  Then spent the rest of my day wondering if I should've had more children.  Did I step out of what the Lord had for me? No, because it was my husbands decision to do that.  Don't get me wrong- I don't want anymore children.  But did the Lord want me to want more children?  To take all the kids he would give me?  Like the Duggars?  ya, no.